Way too often we go through life sleepwalking, following the patterns and expectations others have imposed on us long ago. We end up trying to achieve and attain things others around us want—status, stability, a certain image of happiness—rather than discovering the things that we really want, that align with our own core values. Go to university, get a job, get married, have kids, get a house; these are the measures of success expected by society that we often fall into without ever questioning if they actually fit our feet. But deep down, in the quiet moments when the noise fades, you ask yourself: what is it that really matters to you?
Who you are and who you want to be is perhaps one of the most important questions you can answer in your life. It is also a question that must be answered every day of your life. Every challenge that comes in front of you is going to give you an opportunity to answer this fundamental question with the actions you decide in that moment. You are not a static, you are constantly changing, growing, and shaping yourself.
What we aim to do is to help you find the answers for and within yourself. It doesn’t matter if you’re coming into adulthood and independence for the first time, feeling the electric buzz of possibility; or if you’re finding yourself unsatisfied with your life at a ‘mid-life’ crisis point, realizing the ladder you’ve been climbing might be leaning against the wrong wall; or perhaps you are grappling with what to do with yourself as you wind down your career, looking for a final, profound act of self-definition. It could be any other point in your life where you realize that you just really don’t know what really matters to you. That uncertainty is not a failure, it is an opportunity for deeper self-discovery.
Often, a part of this process will involve building yourself a personal coda; a curated set of core ideas and principles that you can use as a mental (or physical, if you write it out and keep it in your pocket) cheatsheet to guide your thoughts, choices, and actions. It is a way to remind yourself constantly of the things you have decided matter to you, so you don’t drift back into the current of other people’s expectations.
Such things have aided different groups through the millennia, giving them a code of conduct to live by. The Bushido Code gave honor to the warrior; the Ten Commandments gave structure to the faithful; the Stoic Virtues gave resilience to the philosopher. These and more have helped people through history and around the world, grounding them in a shared reality. But none of them are deeply personalized and reflective of you. None of them were written by your hands, for your heart. Your code will be unique to your soul, specific to your desires and your specific journey through this world.
To build this coda, we must look inward with a unfettered curiosity. We have to explore the questions that keep you up at night, the ones that excite and terrify you in equal measure.
What do you want in life? And what about it do you really want? Is it the status, or the freedom? Is it the praise, or the mastery? Why does it matter to you?
What do you consider success to look like, and what about that vision matters most? Is it a quiet cottage and a full garden, or a corner office and a world stage? Is there anything you want enough to sacrifice everything else to attain?
What do you really enjoy doing, and why? When does time vanish while you are working?
What do you want those around you to notice and appreciate about you? How do you want to be remembered?
This realm of coaching is about deeply exploring and uncovering not just the you of today, but to build within you a sense of the you of tomorrow. It is about taking the raw materials of your experiences and upbringing, the successes, the failures, the heartbreaks, the triumphs, and sculpting them into a cohesive identity. Who do you want to be, if freed from the patterns and expectations of your past? Who do you want to be if you stopped trying to please anyone else?
Imagine waking up with a clarity so sharp it cuts through the fog of daily life. Imagine making a choice, whether it’s a business deal, a romantic partner, or a weekend morning, and knowing, with absolute certainty, that it aligns with your personal coda. That is the power of self-discovery. It is not just thinking; it is living with intention. It is the difference between drifting on the ocean and steering the ship.
We will look at your life not as a series of random events, but as a curriculum. Every moment has been teaching you something. We will examine those lessons. We will discard the ideals and goals that no longer serves you. We will keep what is precious. We will refine your values until they are polished and bright, ready to guide you through the shadows and the light alike.
This is work that feels like play because it is about you. Your relationship with yourself is the most intimate relationship you will ever have. By the time we are done, you won’t just know who you are; you will know exactly who you are becoming. You will have a story to tell, not just of where you’ve been, but of where you are going. And that story will be undeniably, authentically yours.
Coaches
Norm
From a young age Norm has never shied away from asking the deep questions, not only of himself, but of others he's been close to.
Kirsten
Having spent most of the last year working through a process of experimentation, exploration, meditation, journalling, and guided questioning, Kirsten now has a much better idea of who she intends to be.