Change & Transitions

On the surface, change can seem either good or bad, but every change is a true opportunity. A chance to ask, “What are you going to do from here?” There is a quote, “The man with nothing to lose is free to risk everything.” Changes that seem like a loss can be incredibly empowering because they free us from obligations that may have left us feeling trapped. Changes that seem like gains can be limiting because they place new obligations on us. We often fear the disruption, yet in that disruption lies a place where we can freely choose our next step. We find ourselves at a crossroads, and while the path is new, it is ours to walk.

Many of us hold at least a portion of our identity by defining ourselves by the circumstances in our lives. We very often carry a sense of identity about our jobs, our family and relationships, our hobbies. When asked who we are, we give easy superficial answers, “I’m a bank teller”, “I’m a single dad”, “I’m a para-Olympic athlete”, "I’m a... ". These are facts about us, but they don’t begin to touch who we are. Yet losing them can cause us to begin to question much larger things about ourselves. Sometimes the shift is quiet. You might still have the job, the partner, the life, but you notice you’re breathing differently within it. We invite you to step into that curiosity with us.

How we deal with change is one of the more important skills we can learn in life. Coaching around change is focused on learning to see the possibilities available within it for you. Every change will bring with it a new opportunity, a new insight. Learning how to appreciate these opportunities and insights, even while dealing with disruption and loss, can enable you to let the change happen more easily with less resistance. Letting go of what you can’t control is a lesson that comes from Stoicism, Zen and Taoism. Tao speaks to the idea of flowing like water, yielding, yet persistent. There is a beginner’s mind in this—the willingness to look at the mess of transition and say, ‘I don’t know yet, but I am curious to find out.’ It is about trusting that you will form like water takes the shape of its container.

Often, the earlier you can find yourself accepting and engaging change, the more you will have an ability to shape and influence it. At work, a change from above to implement new ways of working can be engaged with early - make suggestions to show acceptance of the change, but to steer it in a way that works for you. Accept the new tool early, and then put in feature requests to make it better, before the team writing the tool gets overwhelmed with requests. You aren’t just a passenger; you are co-piloting the experience. You can take this same approach to the big shifts in your life, accept the reality of the moment, then start gently steering the ship.

Take a career pivot, for example. You might spend years in roles that fits your education and seem connected on a career path, but they begin to feel like a heavy pack on a long hike. The shift happens when you realize you’re strong enough to put it down. You don’t need to know a new destination, you just need to feel the wind on your face change direction. You take the new job, or the sabbatical, not because the map is perfect, but because you trust your legs to carry you there. You aren’t just reacting to the terrain anymore, you are moving through it with intention.

We invite you to explore the changes in your life with us, to validate where you are and to find the right move for you. To help us understand the season you are in, here are two questions to ask yourself: When was the last time a change in your life was more exhausting than the problem it solved? If you look at your current routine, which one habit are you holding onto just because it’s familiar, even if it doesn’t feel like it serves you anymore?